PAX Centurion - March / April 2013

www.bppa.org PAX CENTURION • March/April 2013 • Page 31 I n my relationship with my phone, I'm the “smart” one. I'm proud of the fact that I cannot recognize ANY of the “Real Housewives.” Why is it, when you go to the Doctor's they always say watch how much you eat, watch how much you drink. You're never told to drink more beer and have more sex... Washington D.C. Mayor Vincent Gray has made a generous offer to the Washington Redskins. His honor has promised funds for a new stadium, on the condition the teamchange it's name fromthe“offensive” slur on Native Americans...may I suggest Bullets, Snipers, or Crooks to reflect the neighborhood?? Speaking of football, Baltimore linebacker Ray Lewis went out on top, after the Ravens won the Super Bowl. The hype surrounding Lewis' retirement rivaled the big game itself.At every stop, therewas the obligatory shot of Lewis crying.After football Lewis could become the first male spokesmodel for mascara – his eyeblack never ran, no matter how severe thewaterworks. The only guywho criedmore thanRay this past year was Speaker of the House John Boehner! President Barack Obama is urging changes in football to reduce injuries. He must be the only guy who enjoyed the Pro Bowl! If he institutes all the restrictions by 2016 the big game will be known as the “Safer Bowl”. Aguy I knowwent on breakwith an electric cigarette. He came back two days later when the battery wore out... Rapper Rick Ross was shot and as a result of his injuries crashed his car-I didn't even know he had turned his life around! The “GoDaddy-Kiss” commercial during the Super Bowl mademe throw up in my mouth a little bit. During the Physical Aptitude Testing, prior to becoming a Police Officer, applicants are required to hold a revolver at arms length and pull the trigger several times then repeat with the other hand. For a Fire Fighter, the PAT is similar, except you use a TV Remote... At the rate we are being disarmed, soonwe'll all be eating steakwith plastic sporks! When you rob Peter to pay Paul, eventually Paul will tire of being a victim. A hidden danger to electric cars is also one of their selling points. It seems the hybrids are too quiet when running on battery power, and several pedestrians have had close calls with the near silent autos. Although considering the idiocy of some pedestrians with their texting and iPhone comas, this may just be Darwinism. Is themoney lost on parkingmeters during recent snow emergencies offset by tags and tows? Speaking of the aforementioned Snow Emer- gencies, with no cars on the road, parked or moving, WHY didn't they plow curb to curb? Oh, and Gov. Deval Patrick, I went out for a joy ride two hours AFTER you overstepped your authority and ordered private citizens off the roads. BostonUniversityProfessor PedroLaserte, who teaches “Romance Languages” was sentenced to probation after pleading guilty to hitting a female acquaintance with brass knuckles... and I thought French was the International Language of Love! Well it's Lent, and I'm trying not to eat meat on Fridays. Consider- ing some of the rotten things I've done, if I end up in Hell, it most likely won't be the result of pepperoni pizza. Doctors, athletes, politicians, etc are always downing fast food, and sugary drinks, BUT that doesn't stop them from having MacDonald's and Coca-Cola from sponsoring sporting events, and the Olympics. Funny, we pay pro athletes millions, and don't care if they're covered with tattoos, nomatter how tasteless. They provide nothingbut entertain- ment and the occasional role model. Meanwhile, candidates for Law Enforcement and the Military are not accepted or censored for having some ink, get paid poorly, and provide the blanket of security we all prosper under-go figure! I don’t usemy cell phone to report driving jerks, because sometimes it’s ME! When I look at the sheets of salt laid down during snowstorms, I often wonder if Car Washes and Body Shops pay for it... I can't help but chuckle tomyself when I hear the “all-out” broadcast to transport people in need of shelter during inclement or extremely cold weather, YET people complain if they drive by a detail and see a cop warming up. Whenever I hear that song “Moves Like Jagger” I picture someone dancing around with a cane or a walker. Really, Sir Mick is almost 70! Lately it seems we don't have Law&Order, we have Law, or Order. President Obama is using the tried and true Democratic tactic of scaring the public with dire forecasts of anarchy, and threats of cuts to local aid to pressure House Republicans to raise taxes in the face of sequestration. The across the board spending cuts will kick in March 1st, if a deal is not struck. Dear leader wants taxes raised, and cuts to military and defense spending but the House is defying him, claiming other cuts are available, and refusing to pile on the middle class any further after about 77% of working Americans' taxes were raised to avoid the Fiscal Cliff. Obama AGREED to the original deal, but now seems poised to heap the blame on the Republicans. If they cave-it's all over! Before the Government starts cutting jobs, maybe they should start cutting fraud and waste. How many Obama voters will get the axe, or a pay cut (at least 47%WON'T) ? And who will get the blame in the complicit media? The Republicans, the Tea Party, and Conservatives! Need more proof the media is biased? Republican whiz kid Marco Rubio of Florida was pilloried for grabbing a drink of water before making a speech. He was even satirized on Saturday Night Live... BUT... Senator Robert Menendez of New Jersey has been implicated in a scandal involving questionable donations, sketchy junkets, and sex with underage prostitutes in the Dominican Republic, and you'll have to look hard to find it outside the Right Wing outlets. The difference between the two?With an “R” after your name, drinkingwater gets you national attention, and ridicule, but allegedly banging underage girls on vacation and taking money and trips from an indicted donor garners barely a ripple with a “D” following... By P.O. Jay Moccia If ignorance is bliss… then stupidity is Nirvana! Attention To all members of the Boston Police Relief Association – Active Duty or Retired If you need to change your beneficiary or you are not sure of who your beneficiary is you can contact the relief office at 617-364-9565. If you leave a mes- sage your call will be returned and if necessary the paperwork will be sent out to you. Thank you. William F. Carroll, Clerk, Boston Police Relief Association