PAX Centurion - Summer 2014

Page 38 • PAX CENTURION • Summer 2014 617-989-BPPA (2772) Everyone gets a trophy By P.O. Jay Moccia P ro Golfer BubbaWatson caused a bit of a stir, when he cel- ebrated his Masters’win at the local Waffle House. I can’t see why everyone was so surprised; where else would a guy named Bubba party? H H H H H H H H H H H I know an Officer who’s so bipolar, he does Good Cop/Bad Cop by himself. H H H H H H H H H H H Twitter is like the bathroom wall of the Internet – that can’t be painted over (thx Mike!) H H H H H H H H H H H Lingerie is French for “you’ll never see me after marriage” H H H H H H H H H H H Some notes on the Boston Marathon: Security was able to search bags before people entered the “hot zone”, so why couldn’t they search the backpacks of the Military “Ruck” runners? Most spectators couldn’t thank Police enough for their service along the route. I wonder if they changed that to “something else you” after the papers published the co$t…But it was appreciated nonethe- less. Many groups reward their runners with a get-together when the race is done. Where’s the BPD after-party? To date, not one Police Officer assigned to the finish line during last year’s bombing has been officially recognized by the Department. The Boston Fire Department honored nine Firefighters at their annual Awards Ceremony after reviewing hundreds of photos, and hours of footage, to determine meritorious actions at the site of the bombings. We got a pin. The addition of food carts to feed the Officers assigned to the Marathon was a great idea. Hopefully there are plans for the BPPA to get one. If they do, I know a guy who’d be interested in the chef’s position… I refuse to believe the plate on the water truck is: MIA Forget the cycling Murrays, the end of the marathon should be marked by the Milwaukee Brewers’ “Sausage Racers.” From the Command Staff to the Patrolmen, everyone did a great job! It’s now safe to say, we’re 117-1! H H H H H H H H H H H Has anyone else noticed the radio now sounds like a bad Dunkin’ Donuts drive through? H H H H H H H H H H H The Mayor of Somerville Joe Curatone has decreed that illegal aliens will no longer be arrested – just for being illegal. They can be detained if they have a criminal warrant, or are arrested for another offense. Oh, and don’t forget, two years ago, Alcalde Jose decreed you can’t refer to them as “illegal aliens.” Muchos Gracias! American citizens will continue to be locked up in Somerville as usual. H H H H H H H H H H H Uber Liberal Alec Baldwin was arrested in NYC near his home af- ter running afoul of the NYPD. The incident started with Baldwin once again complaining to Police about the paparazzi camped out near his downtown digs. He was taken into custody after failing to produce an ID for a civil violation of bicycling against traffic. How ironic: a flaming liberal arrested for no ID!! It was also noted Alec threw out the old “Do you know who I am?” to arresting Officers. In a TWEET following his pinch, Baldwin opined: “NewYork City is a mismanaged carnival of stupidity that is desperate for revenue and anxious to crimi- nalize behavior once thought benign.” Now I ask you, gentle reader, is this simply a case of Baldwin vs. de Blasio for title of Biggest Libtard in NewYork? Hey, Alec, these are YOUR people calling the shots – how ya like Dem (Big) Apples? File Under: Between a 30 Rock and a hard place… H H H H H H H H H H H Just a thought on Global Warming – while wearing my coat with liner, and knit hat on a detail in MAY! Why can’t the Greenhouse gas- ses escape through the hole in the ozone layer? H H H H H H H H H H H Hopefully MartyWalsh will be re-elected as mayor of Boston; it’ll take at least two terms to remove the prior Mayor’s name from everything. H H H H H H H H H H H L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling made some pretty nasty ra- cially charged remarks. The fallout resulted in the NBA and its Board of Governors banning him for life, fining him $2.5 million, and forcing Sterling to sell the team. Sterling has responded with a lawsuit for $2 billion seeking damages. As despicable as his comments were, this issue is looking more about green as black or white. H H H H H H H H H H H MERS (Middle East Respiratory Syndrome) has been reported in the United States. The disease is believed to have originated in Saudi Arabia, and is possibly contracted from camels. HmmMERS from camels, AIDS from monkeys, can you crazy ThirdWorld perverts STOP making out with animals? H H H H H H H H H H H The Liberals and Greens claim regulation and taxes are needed to save the planet “for the children,” BUT these same Libs see nothing wrong with dumping the astronomical cost of Obamacare on these same kids. At least they can look out the window at work and see some nice trees. H H H H H H H H H H H When we were young, our parents warned us to stay away from strangers in cars, now drunk kids don’t think twice about getting in a sketchy livery vehicle. #strangerdanger! H H H H H H H H H H H If Deval Patrick runs for President, Justina Pelletier should be his Willie Horton. H H H H H H H H H H H I passed by Franklin Park Golf Course and couldn’t help but notice the large flocks of Canada geese. I thought to myself, with the close proximity of the zoo, how funny would it be if a bunch of them landed in the lion’s cage… H H H H H H H H H H H Boston prides itself on being a walking city and I think that’s great. Just one thing, though, could someone teach these idiots how to cross a street? I feel like taking a bat and smashing the pedestrian lights at every intersection – and I bet NO ONE would notice, because the %^$&# pedestrians pay no mind to them anyway! How about making the fine for jay-walking comparable to the fine for failing to stop for a pedestrian, then aggressively enforcing that! I’d bet traffic would flow a lot smoother. Oh, and whoever came up with the new traffic light pat- terns should be charged accordingly when someone gets hit. They are ridiculous – people should not be getting a walk signal when cars are turning through an intersection. H H H H H H H H H H H I did a detail near Agganis Arena, which was hosting the “New