PAX Centurion - Summer 2014

www.bppa.org PAX CENTURION • Summer 2014 • Page 39 England Robotics Championship.” It was like watching an eight hour marathon of “The Big Bang Theory” minus the hot neighbor. H H H H H H H H H H H I believe I speak for everyone when I say the song “Happy” should meet the same fate as “Achy-Breaky Heart” and NEVER be played on the radio again… H H H H H H H H H H H An audit of the Boston Public School’s lunch program has shown it is losing millions and is among the worst places to work. Who would have guessed mystery meat was so expensive? H H H H H H H H H H H Another Muslim immigrant to our shores has been implicated in the Marathon Bombing. At least this one had a job. H H H H H H H H H H H A New Hampshire father was arrested at a Gilford School Board Meeting, after voicing his objection to a book on the reading list which contained graphic sex passages. William Baer protested that a permis- sion slip was not issued this year – as has been the case in the past. He was led from the meeting in handcuffs for violating the “two minute” rule for speakers. Funny, offensive language was removed from literary classic “Huckleberry Finn,” so why not this book? H H H H H H H H H H H A U.S. Marine-Sgt. Andrew Tamooressi, who suffers from PTSD, is languishing in a Mexican prison on a weapons charge, after he took a wrong turn at the border. Although there may be more to this, the Ad- ministration appears to be dragging their feet in an effort to bring this vet home. Here’s an idea – let’s propose an exchange. We’ll send back all Mexicans here illegally in exchange for our soldier… H H H H H H H H H H H Massachusetts Legislators are proposing more new gun laws. As usual, these laws will only affect LEGAL gun owners. There are no provisions regarding criminals or the mentally ill. These are the same clowns that claim Climate Change is settled science, but deny the FACT that more guns = less crime. Here’s a unique idea, enforce the laws on the books, before you further restrict my CONSTITUTION- AL RIGHTS! H H H H H H H H H H H Dan Marino, Hall of Fame QB for the Miami Dolphins, is suing the NFL over its failure to address injuries-specifically concussions. That would explain his wooden performance in Ace Ventura – Pet Detective. Laces OUT Dan! H H H H H H H H H H H Police in Kentucky have seized three million dollars worth of stolen shoes. The Nike footwear went missing in 2009 while being shipped from Tennessee to Texas. How do you fit three million dollars worth of shoes in a double-wide? Those must be some stylish hillbillies! H H H H H H H H H H H Several national chains have asked patrons not to carry firearms onto their premises. Sonic, Chili’s, Starbucks, Chipotle, Wendy’s, and Applebee’s are among those participating in this policy. Just a thought- are they asking patrons not to exercise any of their other Constitu- tional Rights in their businesses – or just this one? By the way, if I or anyone else chooses to ignore this “request” what’s the worst they can do, ask you to leave? H H H H H H H H H H H After an avalanche on Mt. Everest killed several of their fellows, Nepalese Sherpa guides have stated they won’t assist climbers during this season. They will now be known as Shirkers. More news from the world’s tallest peak: Embarking from the Tibetan (China) side of Ever- est (where there are no age restrictions on climbers) an impoverished 13-year-old Indian girl scaled Mt. Everest. Coming from the lowest caste in India (referred to as the “untouchables” because of their abject poverty), Malavath Poorna was sponsored by theAndhra Pradesh Social Welfare Society. A radio news report referred to her as “Slumdog Moun- taineer.” Jeez, if I wrote that we’d been in the news again…just sayin’. H H H H H H H H H H H Another scandal now dogs the Obama Administration. Officials at several Veterans’Administration Hospitals have been implicated in a growing controversy that may foreshadow patient treatment under Obamacare. It seems some vets are being placed on lists, and denied prompt appointments for sometimes life threatening conditions. A number of VA Officials have been canned, including head of the VA, former General Eric Shinseki. A bi-partisan group of Senators, led by Republican John McCain, and Independent/Socialist Bernie Sanders is drafting legislation that would allow veterans to seek care at other medical venues, with full reimbursement if they cannot get an appoint- ment at their local VA Hospitals. It’s either that or claim they’re illegal aliens, so they’ll get their benefits faster. #deathpanel H H H H H H H H H H H The onlyAmerican POW inAfghanistan, Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl has been returned to the U.S. Army in exchange for five hardened Taliban Commanders from Gitmo. Controversy surrounds the swap (but what else is new for Obama) after several of his former comrades claim Bergdahl is a deserter. More to follow as this unfolds. One can only hope the swapped terrorists got a (GPS) bug up their @$$ ala “Gigi Portella” and a drone will put a rocket in their pocket before they can kill moreAmericans. If it’s true Bergdahl is a deserter, he should be welcomed home with a 21-gun salute pointed at his chest. H H H H H H H H H H H Pop tart Justin Bieber is doing the public mea culpa after a video surfaced of him telling racist jokes. Hmm what are they going to make him sell – he actually used the “N” word?? I didn’t even know he was dating V Stiviano! File under: KKKanada… H H H H H H H H H H H Elliot Rodger, a child of liberal privilege, went on a murderous rampage that left 6 dead and 13 wounded, after he couldn’t get a date. During his spree, Rodger stabbed, ran over with his car, and shot his victims, because he felt rejected by women, and couldn’t lose his vir- ginity. Although he employed different means to dispatch his victims, the do-gooders immediately attacked guns. There was no talk of ban- ning knives and BMW’s. Rodger proves the point that a nut who’s bent on murder, will employ any means necessary to satisfy his urges. H H H H H H H H H H H I recently fielded a call for a naked woman in Copley Square Park. It’s not what you think, supermodels rarely pass out nude on my beat. The drunken homeless woman was stripped from the waist down, and sprawled out in the grass. The sight has made me swear off sex for at least a month – it will be easy, I’m married… H H H H H H H H H H H I have a small pile of sand in my yard, and my dog will roll around in it, then climb into my bed, spreading it onto the sheets. Pair that with the hot flashes I get frommy medication, and it’s like sleeping on the beach. H H H H H H H H H H H Enjoy your summer, have fun on vacation, hydrate on your details, good luck on the Sergeant’s test, wear sunscreen, and try not to get ordered too much. Thanks for reading!